A couple of days ago in my previous post on writing task 2, I promised to post my complete answer to the following IELTS essay task:
Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education.
How far do you agree or disagree?
So, here’s my band-9 essay. While you read through this, it would really help to pay attention to the organisation of the information and ideas, as well as to how I have presented and developed my reasons. These points contribute half of your score in the writing section and are as important as the vocabulary and grammar that you use in your essay:
I agree that public budgets for arts should be decreased, and more money ought to be spent on education instead. This is true about the money allocated to music, paintings and other forms of art, and governments should invest in the development and improvement of schools, teachers and educational resources.
Education normally plays a more important role in the development of a country than the arts. While art has great cultural significance, it seems that learning important sciences and skills effectively contributes more greatly to a nation’s progress. This is because the development of industries, healthcare and defense relies mostly on a country’s progress in different fields of science and technology, which in turn requires skillful teachers, advanced computers and better-equipped laboratories.
Art is also already immensely supported by the private sector in most parts of the world. Many art galleries invest in new or professional artists, and a large number of wealthy art lovers tend to spend lavishly to buy different forms of art like paintings and sculptures on a regular basis. Musicians also earn a lot from the sales of their CDs, as well as the online sales of their music and concert tickets. Therefore, most artists are not likely to require government financial support.
Some may argue that governments have historically supported artists, and withdrawing this support would put arts at risk of extinction, but I think times have changed as most artists are not that dependent on state aid anymore, and financial support for arts should be curbed in favour of education budgets.